Those Guys with Silly Hats

There are many nerd stereotypes. Here’re the ones I fill:
Gamer (video games, card games, board games, etc.)
Wears glasses
No fashion sense
Fondness for odd clothing, such as capes, fedoras and unusual trousers
Reads constantly
Doesn’t go out on Friday or Saturday nights
Lacking social skills
Intelligent
A lot of computer time
Fascination with gadgets
Ragbag of random knowledge
Deep love of cartoons

A lot of people think that being a nerd is a bad thing. “No one except nerd girls will date me.” They whine. “I won’t get invited to parties. I won’t play any sports. Wah wah wah.” Whiners. Being a nerd can be a very good thing.
First of all, grades. You don’t get a lot of stupid nerds. Nerds tend to care about their grades and success in school and life more than jocks or “popular” kids do. We think about our future and our options, rather than limiting ourselves to one thing, like sports. I’m not going to knock the jocks that can actually succeed doing that kind of thing. But too many guys (and maybe too many girls) hitch their wagons to that star and end up getting set on fire and crashing when it goes nova. That’s why nerds tend to be a lot more successful in life. I’m not going to list the successful nerds. Hundreds of nerds before me have done that.
Next is chemical health. You don’t see many abuser nerds, at least in high school. We tend to not get invited to the parties where that stuff goes on. Not to mention too aware of what that stuff does to your body. Sure it makes you feel good in the short term, but when all your organs are gone, I’ll be the one laughing. Nerds also tend not to be heavy drinkers, in some cases because of the aforementioned awareness, or shyness, or simply fear of what our parents would think. But it’s pretty much the same. I can’t speak for nerds later in life, but in school nerds tend towards the clean. I mean in terms of chemicals, not hygiene. There’s a reason there’s a sign at the front of my card store warning people to use deodorant or get out.
And finally, fun. Nerds have as much or more fun than “popular” people. I refuse to say jocks, because they seem to have buckets of fun playing sports and I’m not sure I can match that. “Popular” people apparently are busy worrying about being stabbed in the back, maintaining their reputation, setting up parties and trying to keep up with fashion, in addition to grades. Nerds, on the other hand, just worry about the grades and having fun with our friends. Honestly, I’d rather be sitting in my basement, at the table, playing Magic the Gathering with my friends than be at a party, feeling awkward and pressured. My friends never pressure me to do anything, except to get a new game or go into a new deck archetype.
All in all, I’m proud to be a nerd. We have the best hats (hence the title), the best games and the best movies. The jocks can keep their blood sports, their masculine rituals and their copious quantities of sweat. The “popular” people can keep their social paranoia, their expensive clothes and their loud parties. I’m a nerd and proud of it!